Tula,
You were predicted to be born two days from today.
I'm so sorry, if I could have done anything to keep you
in this world, I would have.
Your leave shocked me, shook my soul with grief
And I saw clearly
that I am not in control-
not of what happens in my body,
nor what happens in the wide world around me.
Today, as I hold in my heart
the memory of your life, felt only by me,
I feel the new baby kick
and know
life is not perfect,
there is no Grand Reason.
There is only continuation of life,
as far as we can see-
life crumbling and being remade.
Inexorable life, larger and wider than we can ever know.
No joy is stolen forever,
no death can silence the living world.
You were predicted to be born two days from today.
I'm so sorry, if I could have done anything to keep you
in this world, I would have.
Your leave shocked me, shook my soul with grief
And I saw clearly
that I am not in control-
not of what happens in my body,
nor what happens in the wide world around me.
Today, as I hold in my heart
the memory of your life, felt only by me,
I feel the new baby kick
and know
life is not perfect,
there is no Grand Reason.
There is only continuation of life,
as far as we can see-
life crumbling and being remade.
Inexorable life, larger and wider than we can ever know.
No joy is stolen forever,
no death can silence the living world.
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